Meet me under the moonlight and I will tell you a story...
 

You might wonder how did I get here? What is my story? Here is short synopsis of the road that got me here.

I was born in Brazil and moved to US when I was about 7yrs old. Not knowing the language, culture or anyone, I had to adapt and overcome a lot of changes very young in my life. I became a gym rat at the age of 14. Lifting weights, boxing and Muay Thai kickboxing were my obsession. It was my go-to whenever I needed release. When I was 17yrs old, my mother got sick. I had to leave behind everything that was home to me here in the United States like sports, school, friends and return to Brazil with my mother while she got treatment. I missed my senior year in High School.

I had major changes again in a very fragile stage in my life. However, the one thing that was my constant was my love for exercise and martial arts. When I moved to Brazil the first thing I did was to find a gym and to my luck, the gym I found also offered "Vale Tudo" which means "anything goes" as we know today as UFC fighting. For the year I was there, that was all I did, 3 times a day, 6 days a week. Strangely, fighting brought me peace and security. Something I lacked growing up.

Upon returning to US about a year later, I immediately got back to the gym and into night school to get my HS diploma. I followed that by earning a B.S. degree in Biology from Rutgers University/New Jersey Institute of Technology with intentions of being a surgeon, heart surgeon.

My senior year in college, I hurt my leg while ice skating which led to not feeling my left leg at all. From hip down, no feeling, I couldn't properly walk and had immense pain.  After, seeing a few doctors, I was told I most likely had spinal cancer.

Nothing and I mean nothing tears someone's hope and life like a possible death sentence. I can confidently say that at the moment the doctor said, "It looks like spinal cancer", my life changed. Everything I thought was important for a 24yr old was no longer important. I wanted to live and experience life as I thought my days were counted. I was raised a catholic and religion was part of growing up. After the possible diagnosis, I remember going to 7:30am mass every day and begging God for more time and at the same time being so angry at him for taking my hopes away. 

My hopes growing up was to be a heart surgeon and a fitness guru along with everything that went with that type of lifestyle. However, after "possible spinal cancer" the only thing I wanted to experience now was motherhood. My world had fallen apart, in pieces, and what was left was me standing on top of the rubble looking around not knowing what to do next. About a month later and after many, many intrusive tests I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and NOT cancer. I felt blessed with MS. I had a second chance to live again. 

Now, I had a biology degree and no idea what to do with my life except wanting it to be a simple life. 

Needless to say, that the experience changed me. All of a sudden, I wanted to know more about life like the why's, how's and the "what the fucks".  There had to be more to this life, it all didn't make sense, and this is where my journey started. The search for myself, my purpose, my place, my why's.

It has been 20 years since I started in this road to discovery. I didn't become a doctor; I became a mom. I am a married and a mother of 3 amazing children. So many more changes have happened since diagnosis which I will share as we go along. But the one thing I can confidently say is that today, I am at peace navigating life and still discovering myself.

I am so very close to what I call my spiritual family, and I thank them for the courage they gave me to take the road less traveled. Actually, the courage to pave my own road. I had no guidance except the inner guidance they provided when I was quiet enough to listen.  Today, I am ready to share what I found in this journey, in hopes that someone out there can use some of this knowledge gained from experience to help themselves to their own self-discovery and understanding...to their own paving of a new road. 

Brave souls!

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